She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
