Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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