mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
