On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
