the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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