you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
