I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
