Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?