when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver