Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.