I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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