I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize