I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
