Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dicks are not precious.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize