I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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