Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did I show you my penis last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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