i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
