im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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