I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
