you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
