I want to have your abortion
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
is it fun? or sober?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
