her vagine was all disorganized.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All the doctor said was why
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
