I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
