just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize