I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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