he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
