Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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