I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
