Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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