I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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