there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
