So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
