come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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