Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
soo... how was my night?
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