i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
