Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
