Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
