So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
