just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
