Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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