i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
