if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
