Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
