is your mom at the bar?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
