My balls are so social today.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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