Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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