I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
