yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
