i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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