Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm just crazy horny about you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
