I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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