i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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