I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
