Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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