drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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