It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
