when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
