I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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