"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
