sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
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i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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