We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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